The matinee performance of the Selborne Players' production of Cinderella took place on the grey Saturday of February 8 with sleet blowing past the doors of the village hall.

However it was standing room only at the back as the audience busily bought their refreshments and found their seats.

The curtains opened to a clever stage set and the Ugly Sisters, Anastasia and Grizelda, played with great panache by Nick James and Sean Quinn, singing "Sisters, sisters, caring, sharing, every single thing that we've been wearing" while suggesting that each of them could be a gargoyle of Lady Gaga and could identify as holding a licence to drive a digger.

Special sound effects from backstage caused an uproar of laughter in the front rows. Cinders appeared, under orders from the Ugly Sisters to collect firewood, do the housework and prepare a meal of frog's legs and ham sandwiches.

But Buttons sang to her You've Got A Friend, and although Grizelda had backed a winner at Chepstow that was ten to one, it came in at a quarter to two.

They might be broke but they certainly could Move To The Music in a perfectly choreographed dance sequence. The two Fairy Godmothers appeared and also had the perfect moves to dance out a poem wishing for a handsome prince for Cinders: "We're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go. This ain't a movie, no fairytale conclusions."

They sang "Magic Carpet Ride, any place it goes is right, goes far, flies near, to the stars away from here". It's the Prince's Ball, and the cue for the audience to throw the fluffy balls they had been given at the door at anyone on the stage. A hail of balls erupted from the audience, each one seemed to score a hit.

Everyone is going to the ball, but not Cinders, until the Fairies reappear and everyone danced to Walk This Way. There was some confusion over who would be head chef or sous chef in the palace kitchen, resolved after a flour and custard fight, but charmed mice, lizards and King Rat appeared to pull the magic pumpkin carriage. King Rat, Rattus Rattus, was so good they named him twice.

They danced to music from The Sugar Plum Fairy and We Could Have Been Anything.

There was a busy interval as the audience made a lot of noise and went to the bar while younger members collected spare fluffy balls from under the seats in readiness for Act Two.

The smallest members of the cast rang the bell for the interval five-minute call. Look out you professionals. As the cast regathered on the stage, with the Ugly Sisters glamorous in sequins and voile and forced to face a life of skylarking, the pumpkin carriage appeared to the tune of Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight). Then Please Don't Go, Stay and Should I Stay Or Should I Go, followed by some of the most atmospheric Bowie tunes from Labyrinth as the misty woods were recreated on the stage.

Cinders sang "I don't wanna go but it's time to say goodbye". Then "Letting their hair down, keeping my cool", angels crying, I'll Be There, and the Ugly Sisters dancing to Magic while the two Fairy Godmothers get things done to the Mission Impossible theme tune.

The ghost of Gilbert White appeared but it seemed only those in the front seats could see him, although they tried hard to let the people on stage know he was there.

The front row missed nothing. One bright spark even piped up: "They're not even real women." If no-one else was following the plot, the front row did. Ho ho ho it's magic, and the Selborne Players, with quite a lot of help from the stalls, created a magic performance all round.

Cast and audience joined in a song, The 12 Days Of Selborne: “On my first day in Selborne my true love gave to me, a panto ticket for free! On my second day in Selborne my true love gave to me, two Gilbert Whites and a panto ticket for free; three power cuts, four ZigZag hikes, five Facebook rants, six brewers brewing, seven cars a speeding, eight neighbours squabbling, nine ladies knitting, ten truckers honking, 11 swifts a-swooping, 12 Selborne Players,” and they go from strength to strength, finding more and more talent with each production.

Cast: Aphra Collis (Cinders), Alma Langlands (Prince), Eada Grant-Turton (Buttons), Nick James (Anastasia), Sean Quinn (Grizelda), Shaeh Quinn, Juno Collis (Fairy Godmothers), Stella Charlton (Baron Hardup), Simone Knoll (Stepmother), Jan Earney (Dandini), Polly Pawsey (Fifi the French Maid), Emily Carter (Ghost), Kelsey Tucker (Herald), Emily Carter, Stella Charlton (Pages), Gully Gosling, Gabriel Charlton, Emily Bourne, Grace Bradshaw (Mice), Mia Bradshaw, Kelsey Tucker (Lizards), Sofia Brown (King Rat).

Crew: Elsa Donovan (director), Jan Earney (producer), Grace Gosling, Polly Pawsey, Wendy Megeney (make-up), Pam Newth, Emma Smith, Dougie Allan, Julie Rebeck (painters), Haze Quinn (music and sound effects), Jon Fuller (lighting and publicity), Gren Earney (curtain/stagehand), Simon Downing (story).

The Selborne Players would also like to say a big thank you to Ginny Pawsey of Hermitage Vintage for her assistance with costumes, and all the businesses and individuals who donated raffle prizes.

Contributed